Balham - Elliott Review

Boring Balham, somewhere I'd rather not spend my Friday night again. This visit was just a shambles from start to finish. Arrived and entered to be told there is an up to 20 minute wait. That's fine, not bothered about waiting, however I didn't enjoy the further 5 minute lecture on how the queueing system works. I really didn't want to know, and whilst the server may have thought they were being helpful, I think everyone knows that if there isn't a space, you have to wait.

After waiting 10 minutes, we were shown to a table, number 12. I was with Gerre and Jackie, of which Gerre went straight to order. After a ponder of the menu, must have been around five minutes, Jackie and I went to the till. We were surprised to see Gerre still hadn't been served, despite there being no one in the queue and three behind the till. Then the queue line descended in to a bit of chaos, people over the place. The Nandocas serving food were just pushing people out the way and not making any interaction, as if please, thank you, and excuse me didn't exist in their vocabularies. It was not the way to portray yourself in the outlet! I was finally served, placing my order which seemed to go with ease, until I wanted to pay. £2.30 was the total, so I handed £10.30, to which I was told 'it's only £2.30' - Yes, I know that, I can see, however I have nothing smaller. Does it really matter? Well transpired it did as they had no £5 notes in the till, and wanted to send me away with no change. Refusing as I was already annoyed by this point, I was given coins which seemed to be the biggest chore ever.

Meal arrived after 9 minutes, which is good, but I've marked it down to reflect the shambles of an ordering process. The meal was okay, but wasn't the best. I ordered chicken wrap with chips and garlic bread. The wrap seemed to lack any chicken, with the chips being rather stale. The garlic bread was, however, most enjoyable. Washed down with Balhams finest tap water.

The server came to clear the plates, leaning over everyone in the process, which I appreciate isn't easy. But at least do it gracefully. Then they tried to clear the drinks away, which was swiftly rectified.

Not a great outlet. Staff in the kitchen were trying hard, but front of house are just clueless. It was a really bad visit and I will not be coming here again. The whole experience put me off!